*honk* *honk* *honk*

I'm not a big fan of pop music. Okay, that may be a gross understatement. Top 40-type songs are, in general, pretty lame.

The place where I work has radio piped throughout the main part of the building. Thankfully, I don't usually have to listen as I can hide in my office with my own music playing.

Today, I've had to spend a good bit of time where the radio is playing, and it's starting to get under my skin. Yes, the songs are every bit as vapid as usual, but something new has apparently become popular. I've heard two songs (at least, I think they're two different songs) using what sounds to me like a bicycle horn for percussion. It's almost as if they're intentionally trying to be irritating, just to see if people will buy it.

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Oh, and I've been informed that I owe Sopie an apology. To be honest, I'm not really sure which of my witty (heh) comments is the one that tipped the scale. But, if I crossed the line with any (or all) of them, I am genuinely sorry.

Real Live Customer Service

I had the strangest thing happen last week.

I had recently renewed my subscription to Paste magazine*, online. My payment was processed through, but after a couple of months I received notice that my subscription had expired.

I called their customer service number and was connected almost immediately with one of their representatives. She was pleasant, well-spoken, and helpful. In less than 5 minutes, she found out what had happened, said she would fix it, and took my phone number in case there were any problems.

I just checked this afternoon and found that she had kept her word, and my subscription has been extended appropriately. That's the first time in YEARS that I've not had a fight when calling one of those customer service numbers, so YAY PASTE!





*If you're a music fan, and you're not familiar with Paste, click that link. Have a look around their site. You'll be hooked.

Freecycle Freeloadin'

I have to check out the Freecycle postings every day. It's not because I'm in need of anything in particular, but the posts can be so entertaining.

New for today (all are, of course, sic):

Offer: toliet
We just replaced our toliet with a handicapped toliet, so we have our old one to give away.

Needed
I am in need of either a loveseat or about 4 cinder blocks.

Needed: TV
TV, any size above 27", Color. Remote Controll not needed

But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?
It is the East, and toliet is the sun!

Either or, eh?. Wow. How are you going to make that work?

Y'know. It's bad enough that a person NEEDS a television, but NEEDING a large TV specifically? Ehh. Beggars/choosers.

Found in Today's Classified Ads

TIBETAN YAK. Registered, breeding stock, Wooly, Imperial and Royal. 232-XXXX

Christmas is coming up, and I have found what I want.

Nemesis

For three and a half years now, we've fought. We've quibbled nearly every time we've tried to work together. I can't understand why it's been so difficult for you to cooperate. It seemed that even the simplest tasks have been beyond your capability. At times, these encounters have almost become physically violent.

It was inevitable that you would eventually be given your walking papers. I just don't know why it took so long for someone to finally decide that they'd had enough of your belligerance.

I met your replacement today. They are everything you were not. Eager, straightforward, efficient. Yes, I think we'll get along fine.

Yes, we've got a new copier now. You can eat it, Pitney Bowes DL200.

To C on Her 7th

As years go, 1999 was pretty good for me. I was back living where I wanted to live after a couple of years in Colorado. Your mom and I bought a nice house, and we had decent jobs. We had a little convertible and spent a lot of time driving around with the top down, and the tunes cranked. Life was good.

It got better when I found out I was going to be a dad. I will remember the moment I found out for the rest of my life.

You entered our life seven years ago today, and changed our whole world. It was the warmest November on record. The week before you were born, the temperatures were in the 70s. I wore a t-shirt with no jacket when I drove your mom to the hospital.

You were smaller than we expected, but you were perfect. You were never shaped like a baby. We had a hard time finding clothes that fit you because you weren't a compact little stubby-chubby like other babies. You were thin, and had looooooong arms (and even longer legs) that didn't quite fit into those footed baby outfits.

From the moment you were born, you have been in motion. It barely stops when you sleep. You have more energy than anyone I've ever met, and that is saying something. You have always had extraordinary coordination and a knack for athletic activities. Yesterday, you gushed that you got to do the coolest thing in gym class where you ran from one side to the other over and over again. You were excited that you got to do windsprints!

You never want to miss any excitement - even if it means skipping sleep. When you were a baby, we didn't sleep much. Sometimes the only thing that worked was to set you on top of the washing machine in your bouncy chair. Sometimes we had to put you in the pickup truck and drive around. I spent a couple of nights on your bedroom floor. I put you in your windup swing and slept while it rocked you. You'd wake up when it stopped, I'd wind it again, and we'd sleep for a few more minutes.

You were your mom's girl for the first three years. There were times that you wouldn't even let me hold you. That changed shortly before your sister was born. I got to stay home with you for a couple of months, and you decided that you could be my buddy. Even though those were really stressful months, I'm very glad that I got to hang around with you and gain your acceptance.

When I had to leave for six months for work, it hurt us both a lot more than we realized at the time. They initially told me it was only going to last for 2 or 3 months. I told my boss that he had to find a way to get me back home when we woke you up for your mom to take me to the airport and you cried. You asked me how many more mornings we had to do this, and if you could wear your special socks with the stars on them. Out of all of these seven years, that was the time where I felt I had failed you the most.

You seem to have inherited your father's penchant for thrillseeking. It's a wonder you haven't given your mother a heart attack on a couple of occasions. She still talks about the time you dragged your little plastic slide up to the top of the big slide on the swingset and she stopped you before you could ride the little slide down the big slide. And yet, you almost never get hurt. How do you do that?

You are a very bright little girl. You do well in school, and we're very proud of that. But even more than that, we're proud of your giving nature. Every teacher you've had has remarked on how empathetic and genuinely caring you are toward others. That's a very special gift, especially for one so young.

I feel that it's your mom's and my greatest accomplishment that you are a secure and confident person. I'm so glad you have graced our lives with your presence, and I can't wait to see what the future holds for you.

Happy birthday, munchkin.

To the Guy Driving Behind Me

Yeah, hi there. I see you're in a hurry. No need to drive that closely, you know. It won't make me go any faster. Yes, I realize that I'm driving the speed limit. I have my reasons. Care to hear them?

My brother and my sister-in-law were both killed in vehicles. My grandfather died from complications following a car wreck. My dad was in the car with him. I was 2 years old at the time.

I watched in my rearview mirror as my sister plowed her Oldsmobile Omega straight into a guardrail at 60 mph. See, she reached down to get her cigarettes from the floor of the car and accidentally jerked the wheel to the right. She lucked out. She got out without a scratch.

The speed limit is 30 mph on this street. That's as fast as you can legally drive here. It's also what the street was designed for. See, when engineers design streets and roads, they place signs and traffic controls in a certain way relative to the speed that cars will supposedly be travelling. You kinda throw a wrench in the works when you drive 45 mph in a 30 mph zone.

See that big building off to the right? That's an elementary school.

About 12 or 13 years ago, I was driving up a residential street a lot like this one. I saw a ball come rolling out from between 2 parked cars and slammed on the brakes. I missed the little boy who came running after that ball by no more than half a foot. If I had been travelling any faster, I would have hit that little boy.
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It's funny. I love to drive, but cars scare the living hell out of me. I managed to make it through my wild teen years without any automotive disasters, which is a miracle. I've only been in 2 accidents in my entire life, and both times were when the person behind me was unable to stop because they were driving too fast on slick roads. Neither one amounted to much more than a scratch on my bumper.

This morning, on the way to work, I picked up the inevitable tailgater. I don't break the speed limit when I drive. As a result, I almost always have another car following too closely.I fully realize that this annoys everyone else on the road, but I'm sticking to this strategy. The person this morning was REALLY close - close enough that sometimes I couldn't see their headlights in my rearview mirror. When I turned onto a 5-lane street, they roared past. I watched them as they weaved in and out of cars, ran a stoplight, turned left right in front of an oncoming car, and pulled into the parking lot of my workplace. See, after all that effort, and endangering who-knows-how-many people, they never made it out of my sight. They made it to the same place I was going no more than 10 seconds before I did.

Folks, it isn't worth it. Leave earlier. Slow down. There are no valid reasons for driving like that.

The Name Game Revisited

Name fads are weird. Anyone remember the -ette suffix fad from 30 or 40 years back?

I've known a Bernadette, a Collette, an Inette, a Trinette, a Dawnette, several Jeanettes, a Paulette, a Johnette, and I'm sure dozens of others that aren't immediately springing to mind. One particularly good-humored lady mentioned above said that she considered herself lucky not to have been named Kitchenette or Dinette.

I lived in a trailer park during the early to mid-1990s. At that point, I was convinced that every single girl under the age of 14 was named either Britney or Amber.

Said a Give

A had her tooth extracted yesterday. The procedure went quickly and smoothly. I asked her last night whether it felt better or worse with the tooth gone, and she didn't hesitate a moment before saying it hurt a lot less now.

My wife found her a special T-shirt to wear to the dentist's office. It has a stick figure tripping and falling, with the caption "I do all my own stunts." It was a hit with everyone at the office, and I can't think of anything more appropriate for her to wear. We should buy her several of them.

One thing we did find out was that she is a mean drunk. Prior to the procedure, she was given Versed, and then waited a few minutes before being taken back to the chair for the extraction.

My wife waited in the waiting room. A little boy about A's age who had also been sedated was brought out after his procedure. He was full of love. He told the nurse that he loved her. He told the receptionist that he loved her. He told his parents that he loved them.

A was brought out just a few minutes later. She threw punches. She bit. She was belligerent.

My wife brought her home, and tried to keep her occupied while the sedative wore off. While lying in bed, she looked up, bleary-eyed, at my wife and said "YOU HAVE 4 NOSE-HOLES!!!" Then she stuck her finger up Mom's nose as she counted. "1...2...3....4!!!"

She was quickly shoved away after she said "YOU HAVE THREE EYES!!!"

One of the Good Ones

Our friend Sherry e-mailed us yesterday. She's getting married next spring! It was, of course, very nice to hear from her. But even more so, it was nice to get good news from someone who has had so much bad news.

Sherry was widowed before she turned 30. As it turns out, she has proven herself to be a deceptively strong person.

After her husband died, Sherry went through quite a rough patch (understandably). She didn't eat. She broke down. A lot. She turned her life around quickly, though.

Without question, she is one of those people who use their faith for strength. Given our difference in opinion on the subject, this led to a few late-night Long Island iced tea-fueled discussions of religion on our back patio. Civil discussions, of course. She is accepting of my heathen ways, albeit as baffled by my views as I am of hers. In a semi-sadistic way, I miss these discussions. Moreso, I miss having a friend right across the street. I miss hearing her bellering at her dog when the idiot animal took off running from the front door (I have considered asking the new owners of her house to periodically and randomly shout the name BESS!!! at the top of their lungs.)

She moved away from Casper a couple of years ago to start her own hair salon. Things have gone well for her, and apparently the man she will marry is the electrician who did the wiring in her salon. They will both be back in Casper this weekend for Veteran's Day, which will be nice. I hope it's smooth sailing for her from now on out. She deserves it.

Where'd Everybuddy Go?

I suppose it's the time of year that kicks me into "contemplative and nostalgic" mode. I really see no other reason. Lately, I've spent a lot of time thinking about old friends that I've lost touch with.

At this point in my life, I'm left with very few people who I consider close friends. There are a couple of people that I hang out with occasionally, and folks from work who I chat with, but nothing like the relationships that I've had in the past. Of course, most of this is due to family life. There's no way I could be closer to anyone than my wife and daughters, but that's not to say that I don't miss having close friends outside the home.

I'm not a particularly difficult person to get along with (I hope), but I admit that I'm a bit eccentric, and people often find me strange. That fact doesn't bother me, as I find people who are about half a bubble off of level to be more interesting, anyway. The personality itself does make it difficult to meet people with similar interests and viewpoints.

There was a period in my life where I moved a lot. Shortly after we were married, my wife and I spent no more than 18 months in any one house for a period of nearly five years. That made it very difficult to remain in contact with friends we already had. Combine that with our friends making their own moves, and we simply don't know where everyone is now.


I miss them. I miss some of them a lot. I wonder what they're doing. I wonder what their kids are like. I wonder if they're still the same people I knew. I wonder if they think about me.

Green-eyed Girl - I hope you found the attention and the security you craved so desperately. You were always a genuinely special person. I hope you realize that.

Danger - I hope for your own sake that you slowed down. I've never met anyone so completely at peace with being out of control.

Best Man - I hope you never let her walk all over you.

BTC2 - I can't believe you're still together. I'm sorry if anything I said ever made you uncomfortable. It saddens me that we've lost touch so completely. I hope you both have all the happiness you could ask for.

Brewmeistress - I hope the voices have finally left you alone. Please don't hurt him.

BTC1 - It was nice to see you last summer. I wish I had more to say to you at the time. Take care of those girls!

Poet - Wow. P-freakin'-hD. I stumbled across your Livejournal a while back. Keep on writing!

Mr. Oones - Where the heck did you go? Toad told me he ran into you a while back. I hope your heart is still as large as the rest of you.

CeeZee - I hear you're a daddy now! And a salesman? I can see that.

Ugh - It occurred to me the other day that Z is old enough to drive now. That scares me on so many levels, you just wouldn't believe it.

Living the Dream

I was thinking about my life's dreams this morning on the way to work. Given that I'm basically a simple creature, this is pretty much it for me. Right now, I've got pretty much everything I've ever truly wanted - good family, a house, and enough money to get by.

The catch is that I'd never really considered the stress angle of being the sole breadwinner of the household. Right now, my job is in jeopardy. It's nothing that will happen in the next couple of days, but the fact of the matter is that if a few things (all of which are, unfortunately, completely out of my control) don't change, I'll unemployed by this time next year.

I've been in this position before. The reality of working for a big corporation is such that at any minute of any given day, you can be handed your walking papers. It could be a merger, it could be a switch of departmental policy, it could be lack of profit, it could be spite. You just never know.

So here I am. I'll have to put up with the heavy feeling in my gut for the next few months until the situation resolves itself for better or for worse.

I'm good at my job. I went through extensive specialized training to do it. I spent half a year away from my family so that I could work here. All of that means nothing compared to the balance sheets and ledgers that all corporate drones are judged by, but it means a lot to me.

Yes, I realize it's only a job. The last time I went through this, I ended up far better. That's a given. But the uncertainty does weigh on a person.

I guess I'll keep plugging away, doing what I do. I'll let the bean counters do what they do, and they can figure out whether I continue living my dream or not.

ADHD Posting

It was 7 degrees this morning. That makes for a brisk start to the day.

It fills me with pride that my oldest daughter can name all three of the Three Stooges on sight.

We took both daughters trick or treating around the neighborhood last night. A got more candy than C (SHHHHH, don't tell). I'm pretty sure this is because of her trouble pronouncing her 'R's. No one can resist the powers of "Twick or tweet."

I visited what used to be my favorite hangout on the web last night. It seems that every time I've done so recently, some random person has started an argument or slung an insult. Last night was no exception. It used to be a place that I frequented due to the attitude of acceptance and positive nature. That atmosphere is eroding, and it saddens me a little.

A will have her front tooth extracted next Wednesday. The pediatric dentist we saw yesterday was much more pleasant than her usual dentist. I believe we're going to try to switch both girls over to see her instead. The new dentist also has a lab tech who makes custom partials, so we can have A fitted for one later if we choose to. The other dentist was recommending we have both of her teeth removed "as a precaution." The new dentist sees no reason to do this.

I'm in a bit of a funk right now. I can't quite explain it. It could be that I was looking forward to my four day weekend so much and now it's gone.

Work is not going well. It's getting a bit scary.

If you haven't seen Marmaduke Explained yet, please give it a look. Then, laugh your @ss off.