Delayed Weaner

hiccup and I share a common disdain for formality. When we were married 12 years ago, we decided that we wanted no part of a traditional church ceremony. As luck would have it, her uncle is a baptist minister and my parents have a large yard. Perfect!

People generally have set expectations for weddings, so we went through a bit of the usual ceremony. But it was a short affair, outdoors, and the guests were seated mostly in plastic lawn chairs on the grass. Most came dressed for a typical wedding ceremony, in suits and dresses. A few of our close friends came in jeans (not a problem by us, but some of our older relatives gave funny looks). Mostly, we wanted to have a party. The wedding was an aside to the pigroast/beerdrink that we had planned for directly after.

At the time, my parents owned a couple of very eccentric outdoor cats. They were brothers, both neutered males. They were also extremely friendly, and a bit goofy. One was a grey tabby named Snake, who was so docile that we had seen him literally get beaten up by a mouse he caught. Snake surrendered that fight after the mouse had bitten and held onto his upper lip. Pathetic. The other kitty was a HUGE, overweight cream-colored weirdo named Mister. Mister was not often seen far from the front porch, where he liked to sit in hopes that someone would offer him a lap. He was, apparently, taken from his mother a bit too early for his liking as he tended to try to nurse on anything and everything. He also drooled more than any dog I've ever seen. Equally pathetic. The two cats were given free run of the property during the wedding because, why not? One of my most enduring and favorite memories was watching those two idiot felines go from lap to lap during the wedding ceremony. Reactions to Snake were usually either a brush-off or a quick pet and ear scratch. No one knew how to react to Mister jumping onto their lap, sucking their clothes and leaving behind puddles of cat drool.