Thankful for a Happy Marriage
Last night, our friends The Possible Perverts invited us over to their house for pizza and beer. We've known them for about 4 years now, and have gotten to know them pretty well. They're both smart and funny, and can be a lot of fun to be around. Unfortunately, they have one of those confrontational marriages. There is a lot of friction in their relationship, and they like to butt heads with one another. Often, it's the kind of friendly scuffle that most married couples like to annoy one another with from time to time.
Yesterday evening was different. They were really fighting. Pointed verbal jabs and thinly veiled insults were flying back and forth at a pretty good clip. It was uncomfortable for us, and neither my wife nor I slept well last night.
It has to be difficult for them (and their children) to live in an environment like that. Threats of divorce have been bandied about the entire time we've known them, but always for stupid or childish reasons. I can understand this level of animosity if there is abuse, infidelity or even financial trouble, but their biggest conflicts are over ridiculous things.
I'm afraid I'm at my wit's end. I don't want to sever ties with the people who are probably our closest friends right now, but I don't want to see any more episodes like last night. Part of me wants to speak up and tell them to lay off of one another, but I know that would be disastrous. So, I guess we just wait it out and hope that it was an isolated occurrence.
(nah, I don't think so either.)
Yesterday evening was different. They were really fighting. Pointed verbal jabs and thinly veiled insults were flying back and forth at a pretty good clip. It was uncomfortable for us, and neither my wife nor I slept well last night.
It has to be difficult for them (and their children) to live in an environment like that. Threats of divorce have been bandied about the entire time we've known them, but always for stupid or childish reasons. I can understand this level of animosity if there is abuse, infidelity or even financial trouble, but their biggest conflicts are over ridiculous things.
I'm afraid I'm at my wit's end. I don't want to sever ties with the people who are probably our closest friends right now, but I don't want to see any more episodes like last night. Part of me wants to speak up and tell them to lay off of one another, but I know that would be disastrous. So, I guess we just wait it out and hope that it was an isolated occurrence.
(nah, I don't think so either.)
posted by ptooey at
9:48 AM
3 Comments:
its difficult to sit through any amount of time when people are treating each other with disrespect and disdain.
Being through what I have in life, I have an even more difficult time seeing individuals that I care about doing it to each other. I wouldn't have the patience to be silent. I don't know that preaching would help, but a healthy dose of, "why the fuck are you treating your spouse worse than you would treat a dog? And do you really want your kids to think this is what a healthy relationship is like?" line of questioning may open a new line of vision. And if not? Stop spending time with them. Its negative energy. You don't need extra do you?
sighs. sorry I don't tolerate any type of abuse very well, being a survivor myself. I sure hope they work things out (divorced or not) before it moves this banter to a physical level. those poor kids. :eek:
By
Mermaid Melanie, at Mon Mar 05, 05:50:00 PM
I don't know that I could ever bring myself to give someone else advice in matters that are SO personal. I think that the resentment it would bring would far outweigh any benefit that might be realized. Besides, most of the time I really do like these people. They just need to adjust their priorities or something.
By
ptooey, at Thu Mar 08, 06:41:00 AM
yea i understand the not wanting to get personal. But as you well know, I have little shame. (spent time having to recover from so much, its gone out the window now.) I am of the mindset that I am doing a disservice to my friend if I am not completely honest with him/her, especially if their behaviour is making me (and god knows who else) uncomfortable. Maybe you aren't that good of friends with them yet. I just hope they can contain it while you are spending time together.
By
Mermaid Melanie, at Fri Mar 09, 02:25:00 PM
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