Living the Dream

I was thinking about my life's dreams this morning on the way to work. Given that I'm basically a simple creature, this is pretty much it for me. Right now, I've got pretty much everything I've ever truly wanted - good family, a house, and enough money to get by.

The catch is that I'd never really considered the stress angle of being the sole breadwinner of the household. Right now, my job is in jeopardy. It's nothing that will happen in the next couple of days, but the fact of the matter is that if a few things (all of which are, unfortunately, completely out of my control) don't change, I'll unemployed by this time next year.

I've been in this position before. The reality of working for a big corporation is such that at any minute of any given day, you can be handed your walking papers. It could be a merger, it could be a switch of departmental policy, it could be lack of profit, it could be spite. You just never know.

So here I am. I'll have to put up with the heavy feeling in my gut for the next few months until the situation resolves itself for better or for worse.

I'm good at my job. I went through extensive specialized training to do it. I spent half a year away from my family so that I could work here. All of that means nothing compared to the balance sheets and ledgers that all corporate drones are judged by, but it means a lot to me.

Yes, I realize it's only a job. The last time I went through this, I ended up far better. That's a given. But the uncertainty does weigh on a person.

I guess I'll keep plugging away, doing what I do. I'll let the bean counters do what they do, and they can figure out whether I continue living my dream or not.