Like Locusts, Only Surlier
Saturday -
Mother-in-law: You look different. When did you grow that moustache?
Me: 1991.
Mother-in-law: No, really. When did you grow it?
Me: 1991.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As much as I hate to fall into the stereotype, the mother-in-law and I have a few problems seeing eye to eye.
My wife's parents came to visit us over the weekend. This particular visit went smoother than some visits have gone in the past, but there is invariably some degree of tension when they descend.
It's not just me. Years ago, we were expecting a visit from the in-laws at any moment. When my wife got home from work, she RAN to the liquor cabinet. I asked how her day went, and she could only say "Can't talk. Must drink."
Her mother is a very strange one. She is quite possibly the most selfish person I've ever met. She rarely wants to be bothered by trivialities like her child, grandchildren, or common courtesy. My wife and had been dating for nearly 2 years when we were dining in a restaurant with her parents and her mom tried to get the waiter's phone number for her. I was not impressed.
I don't really know what her problem is with me, other than I think she just generally likes to be confrontational. She once told me that I was too 'scruffy.' At the time, I was 21 years old and had just gotten home from my work - as a mover. Neckties and button-down shirts generally aren't considered acceptable attire for a mover, you know. Now that I am a respectable, well-dressed, well-groomed office drone not much has changed. I mean, I figure I'm a decent husband for her daughter. We almost never fight. We have fun kids. We're happy.
Her relationship with her husband is plenty bizarre as well. They fight almost constantly. The bickering makes everyone around them uncomfortable. Our kids don't know how to react to it. My wife admits that she can't understand why they're still married.
So what are we going to do next weekend? We're driving over to THEIR house for my wife's grandfather's 93rd birthday. I like her grandfather just fine. He's a nice guy. But I'm considering packing a flask of bourbon for sanity maintenance.
Mother-in-law: You look different. When did you grow that moustache?
Me: 1991.
Mother-in-law: No, really. When did you grow it?
Me: 1991.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As much as I hate to fall into the stereotype, the mother-in-law and I have a few problems seeing eye to eye.
My wife's parents came to visit us over the weekend. This particular visit went smoother than some visits have gone in the past, but there is invariably some degree of tension when they descend.
It's not just me. Years ago, we were expecting a visit from the in-laws at any moment. When my wife got home from work, she RAN to the liquor cabinet. I asked how her day went, and she could only say "Can't talk. Must drink."
Her mother is a very strange one. She is quite possibly the most selfish person I've ever met. She rarely wants to be bothered by trivialities like her child, grandchildren, or common courtesy. My wife and had been dating for nearly 2 years when we were dining in a restaurant with her parents and her mom tried to get the waiter's phone number for her. I was not impressed.
I don't really know what her problem is with me, other than I think she just generally likes to be confrontational. She once told me that I was too 'scruffy.' At the time, I was 21 years old and had just gotten home from my work - as a mover. Neckties and button-down shirts generally aren't considered acceptable attire for a mover, you know. Now that I am a respectable, well-dressed, well-groomed office drone not much has changed. I mean, I figure I'm a decent husband for her daughter. We almost never fight. We have fun kids. We're happy.
Her relationship with her husband is plenty bizarre as well. They fight almost constantly. The bickering makes everyone around them uncomfortable. Our kids don't know how to react to it. My wife admits that she can't understand why they're still married.
So what are we going to do next weekend? We're driving over to THEIR house for my wife's grandfather's 93rd birthday. I like her grandfather just fine. He's a nice guy. But I'm considering packing a flask of bourbon for sanity maintenance.
posted by ptooey at
9:31 AM
6 Comments:
"Can't talk. Must drink."
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Well, you made it through the weekend, and I 'spect you'll make it through next weekend, as well. Good luck, though.
By
Anonymous, at Mon Oct 09, 10:13:00 AM
like ali said, hilarious! but, seriously, it must be a generation issue. My mother is not as selfish as she used to be, or maybe selfish is too strong a word. Self absorbed is more like it. My parents fight constantly. Divorce would have made sense 25 years ago, but not now.
Glad to see you are still sporting the mustache :giggles: and pack the bourbon. oh yea.
By
Anonymous, at Mon Oct 09, 05:12:00 PM
Dr. Courtney says take two flasks of bourbon and call me on Monday morning.
By
Anonymous, at Mon Oct 09, 05:52:00 PM
Ali - But how many weekends do we have left? We've only got so many livers.
Mel - Selfish, self-absorbed...semantics. She thinks of nothing that will not benefit her. They have been married 43 years. Forty three.
aAlln - Finally, some medical advice I can follow!
By
ptooey, at Mon Oct 09, 07:07:00 PM
LOL
I'm not sure I have much more to say than that...
Can't talk. Must drink.
*snirk*
By
Anonymous, at Tue Oct 10, 08:22:00 AM
Flask......great idea. Whatever works, right? ;)
By
Anonymous, at Tue Oct 10, 10:50:00 AM
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