ptooey, he said...

Monday, July 31, 2006

Rapid-Fire Weekend Recap

- The camping trip was exceptional. I think everyone had a good time, especially our dogs.

- Most amusing moment: Saturday evening, I helped my cousin's husband tack up some PRIVATE PROPERTY - NO TRESPASSING signs around the perimeter of their property to deter hunters and their errant cigarettes. He decided that it would be a good idea to introduce himself to the owner of the cabin adjacent to their property and let them know what he was up to. We walked up to the door of the cabin - with beers in hand - and came face to face with the 81 year old property owner who introduced himself as an Elder in the Mormon church. First impressions are key.

- It took me over an hour and a half to wash all the filth off of my truck yesterday.

- While we were away, new neighbors moved into the house across the street from us. I am not impressed. They spent the entire time I was washing my truck yelling at each other or their kids. Last night I looked out the window and saw the father sitting in a lawnchair in the driveway, smoking a cigarette. His extremely overweight daughter (who looks to be about 10 years old) was playing in the front yard in a bikini. I'm pretty sure they put the trash in white trash. We'll see.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Off Into the Wild Yonder

Forecast high temperatures are supposed to be over 100 degrees for the next 3 days. We are going to escape the heat by heading for the mountains! Laters, gators.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Like a Magnet for Crazy

I have this talent. Okay, maybe it's not a talent. A knack? Whatever. Anyway, it seems that the eccentric or mentally unstable are drawn to me. It amazes my wife how we can go anywhere and the strangest people will walk up to me and strike up a conversation. It's made for some pretty interesting experiences and usually isn't something I'm bothered by in the slightest.

Last evening, we attended Wednesday Night Live as we have most weeks this summer. We went to our usual spot and settled in to take in some tunes.

A scruffy man, obviously drunk, came and sat about 10 feet away from us. He held a small kitten in his lap and smoked a cigarette. He sat there for a few minutes, then asked the young lady next to him if she would mind holding his kitten for a minute. Then, he staggered off for a short while. He returned carrying a chair that he'd taken from the nearby museum. He struck up a conversation with the young lady, offered her the chair, then again left her holding the cat for a while and wandered off. The young lady asked my daughters if they would like to pet the kitten. They both did, briefly, then sat down with us again.

As I watched the man, it occurred to me that I've seen him before. He's always carrying a critter of some kind. I've usually seen him with a rabbit. The last time I'd encountered him, he asked if he could come and clean the windows of our house for money. He became very angry when I said we weren't interested. Normally, I would have given him a couple of bucks, but this dude was just too belligerent.

The scruffy dude wandered around the crowd last night, distributing chairs to women. It could be that he was completely harmless, but the way he always approached women and girls started to trigger the alarms in my head. We warned C not to go over and pet his kitty, but she kept looking over at it. She's a really friendly and trusting kid so it's hard for us to explain why she shouldn't just talk to any person she meets.

I'm having to re-examine my open door policy for eccentrics as well. Having kids changes your life in so many ways.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

A Work of Fiction, By Request.

Say you're home from college one summer, and you're bored out of your skull. You get together with a couple of friends, also bored, and one of them is old enough to buy some beer.

Wouldn't it be fun if you got a bunch of beer and some cheap, nasty cigars and took them out into the boonies (the middle of the reservation, say)?

You could find a lonely little two-track dirt road and just follow it until it ends in a wash. Just by chance, there might be a wrecked car that had driven into the wash.

You could pop open a couple of beers and light a small fire. You could drink the beers and puff away on the cigars. As you get further and further into the beers you might think it a good idea to start beating on the wrecked car with a big stick. Later, after even more beers, it might even seem a good idea to throw the stick through the windshield and take a leak on the front seats of the car.

After all of this entertainment, you wait a while and then drive home.

Wouldn't it be weird to see the newspaper the next morning that some guy you barely knew had killed some other guy you barely knew? Wouldn't it be even weirder if the killer had dumped the body out in the middle of the reservation? Wouldn't it be weirder yet if the newspaper article mentioned that he had wrecked a car and walked into town. Wouldn't it be hilarious if they said that the car had later been vandalized?

Wouldn't it just beat all if you had been drinking and carrying on 50 feet from a dead body hadn't even known it?

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Is it Any Wonder We're All Messed Up?

The depth of surrealism in childrens' television programming continues to amaze me.

Oh sure, we all hear about how bizarre the Teletubbies or Boobahs are, but even the supposedly tame shows throw a curve on occasion.

The kids were staring at Sesame Street the other morning. Their mouths were agape as they always are when they're watching television. Little strings of drool dangled from the corners of their mouths as they watched Harvey Fierstein belt out "Everything's Coming Up Noses." His eyebrows had very obviously been shaved off and penciled back on.

There's just not enough coffee in the world to prepare an adult for something like that.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Babble-O-Rama

Another weekend *poof* gone. Wow. It's almost August. What the hell do I do with my life?

Had a great time this weekend. The company picnic was pleasant and laid-back. The airshow on Sunday was spectacular, if a little on the warm side. The high temp at the airport was 97, which made it a bit uncomfortable on the tarmac. It was worth it.

I want an F-15. If I post a Paypal link, do you suppose anyone would donate a few bucks to the cause?

I'm taking this Friday off from work. We're going to take our pathetic little camper into the mountains with my cousin and her family. They've got several acres of property in a really neat area outside of Laramie, Wyoming. Should be fun.

A is now officially fully recovered from the pox. She's back to her old self and seemed to have a really good time yesterday watching the planes. That has to be overwhelming for a little kid. There were supposedly 16,000 people there. All of them were sweating.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Anything But Lazy Summer Days

Seems like we've got our summer weekends scheduled down to the nanosecond. It's fun stuff, but man it's busy 'round here.

We have scored some leftover composite decking material from some friends (free stuff = good). It should be enough to re-do our back patio area. GREAT! But it has to be picked up this morning. This afternoon's my company picnic.

Tomorrow we've got a huge airshow in town. The Air Force Thunderbirds are the headliners of the event. There are many other infinitely cool flying machines putting on demonstrations as well. I've been looking forward to this for a long time. The paper this morning said that they expect a crowd of about 15,000 people there. That sort of gives me the heebie-jeebies.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

A Pox on Our House

When our kids were little, we weighed the pros and cons and decided against having them vaccinated against chicken pox.

Well, this summer they decided to take care of it the old fashioned way.

Two weeks ago, the oldest got them. From now on out, I'll probably refer to her as 'C' - she's 6. Her case was relatively mild and she was back to full speed in 4 or 5 days. She claims the spots didn't itch much and she did a fine job of leaving them alone.

This week, it was the youngest's turn. The little one will be dubbed 'A' - she's 3- for future reference. Her case is a bit more...well, impressive. She's got spots on her spots. She's grouchy (well, even grouchier than usual). And she itches. It prompted this discussion between her and my wife the day before yesterday.

-"Don't scratch that."
-"Can I scratch here?"
-"No. Not there, either."
-"How about HERE?"
-"Just don't scratch."
-"Can I tickle?"

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

It Begins

Why am I starting this blog, you ask? It's a legitimate question, and I confess I don't know the answer. I've always been a private person, and this action runs counter to my personality and thinking. Yet, here I am.

Lately, I've found myself with few friends outside of my own house. I used to be active in a web community, but for many reasons I find myself there less often of late. That interaction used to be an outlet for my creativity and a place to sound off. I guess I miss it. I suppose there are a couple of other reasons gnawing at the back of my mind as well. For one, I have read incredibly detailed accounts of other peoples' childhoods. Strangely, I remember relatively little of my childhood. There are flashes here and there, but they're few and far between. Sometimes when I sit and start to type, the memories come back. I hope that works here. You never know, it might come in handy for my kids to have this stuff I've spewed out available here.

I once offended a new acquaintance by suggesting that blogs are a somewhat self-indulgent means of communication. I'll stand by that assessment, but I think I might be ready for that sort of self-indulgence. We'll see.

I'm not a writer by any stretch of the imagination. I'm fairly good with the spelling, but clumsy with the assembly of sentences 'n' stuff. If you're going to be bothered by that you might want to direct your attention elsewhere. But, I've been told I have a decent sense of humor. I hope some of that surfaces here on occasion. I know there are going to be the usual petty gripes found on so many blogs. I'm also afraid there might be a few heavy moments.

So, thanks for stopping by. Pull up a chair. Have a read. Leave a comment. Welcome.